“Everything Happens” Lyrics Translation
Album: Amor Supremo (Supreme Love), 2015
Style: Pop/rock/emo with soft vocals. Melancholy love song to oneself about the struggle with depression, and about feeling awful when you think you should feel fine. It is a very personal song from Carla Morrison, and ultimately a hopeful song about wanting to fight through the darkness instead of giving up.
Country: USA (Arizona); Mexico
Listen: YouTube
Translation:
Mi vista es distinta,
Es muy triste y contamina.
Quiero dejar de creer,
Estarme sola y no ver.
My sight is different,
It is so sad and contaminated.
I want to stop believing,
To be alone and not see.
Me siento cada vez menos viva,
Derrotada y confundida,
Sin saber qué hacer,
No logro entender…
I feel every time less alive,
Fallen and confused,
Without knowing what to do,
I am not able to understand…
Que aunque aquí todo está muy bien,
Mi mente no deja de correr.
That although here everything is just fine,
My mind does not stop running.
Que todo pasa,
Que la vida de repente me alcanza,
Que estoy cansada,
Mi mente necesita de calma,
Que todo cambia-ah-ah-ah,
Mi mundo siente que se va a acabar,
Porque esto ataca,
En silencio parezco dudar.
That everything happens,
That life suddenly catches up to me,
That I am tired,
My mind needs to calm,
That everything changes-es-es,
My world feels like it will end,
Because this attacks,
In silence I seem to doubt.
La vida es un proceso,
Cada quien construyendo su reto
Y al mismo tiempo
Uno siente rincones inciertos.
Life is a process,
Every person creates their goals
And at the same time
One feels uncertain corners.
Miro al cielo-oh-oh-oh,
Pido al mundo respuestas a esto que me está comiendo,
Pero debo escarbar mis adentros,
Que aunque aquí todo está muy bien,
Mi mente no deja de correr.
I look to the heavens,
I ask the world for answers to this that devours me,
But I must dig out my insides,
Because although here everything is just fine,
My mind does not stop running.
Que todo pasa,
Que la vida de repente me alcanza,
Que estoy cansada,
Mi mente necesita de calma,
Que todo cambia-ah-ah-ah,
Mi mundo siente que se va a acabar,
Porque esto ataca,
En silencio parezco dudar.
That everything happens,
That life suddenly catches up to me,
That I am tired,
My mind needs to calm,
That everything changes-es-es,
My world feels like it will end,
Because this attacks,
In silence I seem to doubt.
La rudeza de mi mente es sutil,
Sin darme cuenta puede dejarme aquí.
Quiero ser fuerte,
No dejar de competir,
Esta lucha es solo contra mí.
The roughness of my mind is subtle,
Without paying attention, it could leave me here.
I want to be strong,
Not stop competing,
This fight is just against myself.
[Musical interlude]
Que todo pasa,
Que la vida de repente me alcanza,
Que estoy cansada,
Mi mente necesita de calma,
Que todo cambia-ah-ah-ah,
Mi mundo siente que se va a acabar,
Porque esto ataca,
Pero sé que lo voy a lograr.
That everything happens,
That life suddenly catches up to me,
That I am tired,
My mind needs to calm,
That everything changes-es-es,
My world feels like it will end,
Because this attacks,
But I know that I’ll make it.
Oh-oh-oh, ah-ah,
Oh-oh-oh, ah-ah-ah-ah,
Oh-oh, oh…
Translation Notes:
Mi vista es distinta,
Es muy triste y contamina.
My sight is different,
It is so sad and contaminated.
This is a vulnerable song full of emotion. Carla Morrison struggles with recurring depression. Here, “my sight is different” (or “my sight is distict”) starts the song and indicates that she feels alone and sad. Also she knows that this is not normal.
Quiero dejar de creer,
Estarme sola y no ver.
I want to stop believing,
To be alone and not see.
Carla Morrison has said before that she does not follow organized religion, but she does believe in God (source: Twitter 2013). However, these lines are about believing in herself, and about her struggles with suicidal ideation and dealing with her fame. For context, this album came out in 2015 when she was already very famous. Nevertheless…
Me siento cada vez menos viva,
Derrotada y confundida
I feel every time less alive,
Fallen and confused
The verb derrotar means “to fall, to be defeated.” She had many successful albums, music awards, and crowded concerts, but things weren’t right. She finally took a break from music in 2018 to get away from all the noise of fame and work on her own mental health. It was not until she returned with her 2022 album El Renacimiento (The Rebirth) that she explained just how much she had been suffering:
She had had enough of the persistent criticisms that came with fame. Strangers made cruel comments about her body, tattoos, lyrics, talent and musical style. When she performed, people would boo and flip her off.
Los Angeles Times, May 11, 2022
“I felt unwanted, like people didn’t want me to exist, and I felt like, ‘They’re right. I shouldn’t,’” she said.
She started having suicidal thoughts.
“They broke mi persona, and I didn’t realize it because I was playing strong,” she said. “I was trying to give this narrative of ‘Yo sí soy fuerte [I am strong],’ but it was hurting me.”
And although she knew many people supported her work, the negative voices grew louder.
Sin saber qué hacer,
No logro entender
Without knowing what to do,
I am not able (I can’t manage) to understand
lograr, verb = to manage, to reach, to achieve, to attain
Saying “no logro entender” (I can’t manage to understand) is distinct from “no puedo endenter” (I cannot understand). It adds a sense of self-criticism, suggesting that the lack of clarity is the fault of the singer, instead of external circumstances. She is blaming herself for not understanding her thoughts and not having control over her emotions.
Que aunque aquí todo está muy bien,
Mi mente no deja de correr.
That although here everything is just fine,
My mind does not stop running.
Externally, she knows that she SHOULD be happy. She has achieved fame and many, many people love her music (including me) but she cannot achieve a sense of calm. It sounds like she struggled with rumination, which is thought loops that keep reminding you of sad or negative things. Per the American Psychiatric Association:
When a person who is in a depressed mood ruminates, they are more likely to “remember more negative things that happened to them in the past, they interpret situations in their current lives more negatively, and they are more hopeless about the future.” The preoccupation with problems also makes it difficult to move beyond to allow for a focus on problem solving. Even in people without depression or anxiety, rumination can contribute to negative emotions. This can become a cycle where the more a person ruminates, the worse they feel, which then contributes to more rumination.
American Psychiatric Association, “Rumination: A Cycle of Negative Thinking”, March 5, 2020
La vida es un proceso,
Cada quien construyendo su reto
Life is a process,
Every person creates their goals
Here, she reminds herself that life is a series of steps. The correct path forward depends on the individual and their own personal goals. People have different challenges that they need to overcome. Lives are rarely just “failure” or “success”, because they are a sum of many parts.
Y al mismo tiempo
Uno siente rincones inciertos
And at the same time
One feels uncertain corners
Yet, despite reasurring herself that life is a process, she also says that unfortunately life produces moments of great doubt (the uncertain corners). It is interesting here that she says “uno siente” (one feels) instead of “hay” (there are). She is aware that the doubts she feels are a personal and mental thing. That does not mean they are not real, though.
Miro al cielo,
Pido al mundo respuestas a esto que me está comiendo,
Pero debo escarbar mis adentros…
I look to the heavens,
I ask the world for answers to this that devours me,
But I must dig out my insides…
I gaze at the sky (at heaven),
I ask the world for answers to this that is eating me,
But I must dig/scratch/delve into my insides…
She is seeking answers to her depression. She looks for external spiritual and mundane answers, but ultimately feels that the answers are inside of her. Carla Morrison’s music has always felt very personal, autobiographical, and self-reflective. She allows us to experience the highs and lows of her emotions though her songs. Here, she is examining the lows and seeking to understand why she can’t internalize that “aqui todo está muy bien” (here everything is just fine).
If you are also dealing with depression or anxiety, be careful not to spend so much time self-analyzing that you fall into thought loops. Ruminating on negative memories and feelings is bad because it reinforces neural pathways and affects how easily some thoughts (the negative ones) come back to haunt you. Ruminating can feel productive in the moment, but if you are not moving past those thought loops, then it actually intensifies depression and anxiety. See Healthline’s “12 Tips to Help You Stop Ruminating”.
La rudeza de mi mente es sutil,
Sin darme cuenta puede dejarme aquí.
The roughness of my mind is subtle,
Without paying attention, it could leave me here.
The way her mind shifts is subtle and she needs to keep paying attention. It is like swimming in rough waters and being aware of the risk of drowning. Carla is aware that her depression puts her at risk of suicide, but she does not want to go down that path.
Quiero ser fuerte,
No dejar de competir,
Esta lucha es solo contra mí.
I want to be strong,
Not stop competing,
This fight is just against myself.
She wants to overcome her depression. Despite the dark thoughts, she does not want to give up on life. She also knows that ultimately, she isn’t fighting her critics, but herself.
Mi mundo siente que se va a acabar,
Porque esto ataca,
Pero sé que lo voy a lograr.
My world feels like it will end,
Because this attacks,
But I know that I’ll make it.
The song repeats a previous stanza, but ends on a hopeful note. Her sudden mood drops are a problem and they make her feel awful when they happen, but she does not want to give up on herself. She wants to fight and pull herself out of this pit.
Per her 2022 interview:
“To me, it’s been a journey of all my life,” she said. “Therapy sessions, the ketamine, moving in and out of countries and trying all sorts of different therapies and just really looking for answers to all of my questions,” she said.
Los Angeles Times, May 11, 2022
It’s still hard for her to think about all the pain she’s endured and the criticism that comes with being in the public eye. […] She’s heard people say, “Well you signed up for this. Tú querías esto [You wanted this].” But Morrison disagrees. She just wanted to make her songs.
People have also told her, “Well, you have to take it.”
No, she’d rather talk about it.
I wish her well! Also, all of you visitors to Songlations, whether you struggle with depression and anxiety or not, I wish you well in life. Stop and reconsider before you speak or type anything unkind. And try not to let other people’s rude comments and unkind actions affect your mood and sense of self-worth. Good luck!
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